Hola dead blog, Hola!
Patrick, Aaron, and I took our last final wearing flipflops and bermuda shorts (And yes we looked like lesbians). After the Crimlaw final we drove to the airport and spent a few glorious days in Mexico. It was so amazing that I don’t even regret the tattoo that is now randomly on my thigh (but seriously who is Jorde?)
We are now back, Patrick is starting his summer job, Aaron and I are (attempting to) write on to law review…hopefully we aren’t still cotton-mouthed at the end of petitioning.
Things are not going well.
Newboyfriend (NBF) is completely nuts. Like restraining-order nuts. I broke up with him two weeks ago and he SHOWED UP OUTSIDE OF MY APARMENT! Oh lord jesus. Newroommate was not thrilled by this and called the cops… yeah.
So, I got back with NBF just to avoid the drama before finals. I have four missed calls and 12 text mesages on my phone. wtf have I gotten myself into…okay, back to outlining..
Spring break was AMAZING. I got so much work done that I’m shitting sunshine right now…although one thing I must say is that there is a boy who, well, he sort of views me as “the competition” (and trust me, there’s no competition…)… let’s call him Tooley.
Tooley makes a point of asking everyone how their outlines are going. He shows up 30 minutes early for every class and makes sure no one forgets that he lives in his study carrel.
He also is the SAME guy who writes those self-pitying facebook status updates…yeah. That guy.
So of course I didn’t keep Tooley updated on my spring break ultra-productivity plans. I don’t even like making eye contact with him (yet alone telling him how hard I’m working!)
So, when Tooley came up to me today in CivPro and asked how my outlining was going I said, “Oh, I’ve finished everything already. Haven’t you?”
HIS EYES WERE SO FUCKING BIG IT WAS AMAZING.
I think he pissed himself.
Take. That. & eat it.
Okay, now it’s time to start acting like a normal human being again… I just had to let that out…
Hm. So I suck at the keeping up with a blog thing. What can I say? Hugo sucks more…
Oh, and law school sucks. But I didn’t have to tell you that did I?
And I’m dating a boy. He takes up my time but that’s okay because he buys me things.
Hm hm hm. What else? Why am I here? Oh, so, I saw this video today and I had to address it:
Ciara: just because Lady Gaga does it does NOT mean it’s okay. ACTUALLY, if Lady Gaga runs around butt-naked that probably means that it IS NOT OKAY.
Put some clothes on and stop dressing like a drag queen. Thank you.
My spring break starts this week. I’m going to spend the week in the library.
In undergrad, I was used to a peer group that wasn’t as motivated. I could maintain A’s with minimal efforts.
Law school was sort of a reality check because everyone is smart, and the vast majority of people are motivated.
What differentiates law students is how much quality time students put into the material. I haven’t outlined yet, and I’ve slacked on legal writing. I don’t want to start a precedent of half-ass-ery that carries throughout my legal career.
It’s not about being competitive, and it’s not about grades – what really bothers me is that I know I can do better. If my peers with commutes, spouses, kids and mortgages can get their work done, then so can I.
Okay, law school is kicking my ass, so I retreat to youtube. Don’t judge.
I just found these clips from the last Dancestar in Miami… read more…
Okay, I’ve been gone for a minute. Spring briefs = Ashley has no life.
But, there are some things I need to address!
Do not watch video during class. Especially if you sit in the front row. It’s law school, pretend to be professional. One boy in particular, who I will call THE IDIOT – watches soccer matches during class. Soccer! Really? It’s superhard to concentrate because I’m watching Beckham scurrying across the screen.
The Idiot had a major flub last week in the school auditorium. There was a 1L lecture, and so, of course, he was playing WORLD OF WARCRAFT instead of paying attention. Well, the dean of students happened to come in (the back of the room) and see this.
The dean stopped the speaker and said, “EXCUSE ME, boy paying the video game. Stop.”
Humiliation. It was glorious.
Another annoying person is our resident Kim Kardashian-wannabe, aka “Princess.” She think she’s starring in a sluttacious version of Legally Blonde. Well, in addition to exposing us to mass quantities of unnecessary cleavage, she has a new crystal-lined crackberry, that she uses during class.
This has infinitely annoyed our Civil Procedure professor. He told her after class that if she pulls it out again he will dock her grade. I was the only one who hadn’t left the room and yes, I was amused.
Well, the Civil Procedure/Princess showdown has continued, because she tried to bring her dog (I shit you not) to class. Well, I don’t even want to call this thing a “dog”…it’s a teacup poodle with a big gaudy collar and mini “doggy clothes.”
Princess walked in, toting the dog, and the professor said “No animals in class.”
Princess was all gasps, and said, “but what am I supposed to do with it?”
Our professor said: “Uh, shove it in your locker or not bring a dog to LAW SCHOOL? I don’t care. Not in my classroom.”
Princess left, and hasn’t brought the dog to school since.
I love it.
I love love love it!
But for the record, you’re not Beyonce.
Since Ashley brought it up.
I have this guy, we’ll call him douchebag, that sits next to me in Contracts. NO ONE likes him, and by no one I mean not even the professors. His breath was so bad one day I actually moved seats. When he asked me why I was moving I told him something was wrong with my chair.
Dude also NEVER learned how to blow his nose or learn how to take a f-ing Allegra or Claritin pill. He will literally suck snot the entire class. I’m not talking the occasional sniffle every 5 minutes. I’m talking full blown stop the snot train from coming down the tunnel snorting every 30 seconds. I swear I’m gonna lose it before the semester is over… kill me, now.
I’ve been getting my ass handed to me by school, especially my legal memo. But there are some things I need to address:
BREATH: Okay, there’s no excuse for bad breath. This boy who sits next to me in Civil Procedure has dragon breath every, single, day. At first I thought he was farting, and then I realized that he was YAWNING. Ew. Seriously. No, nonono NO! Unacceptable. Listerine religiously. Carry it with you. Or at least rinse with vodka! That kills the mouth germs too.
ATTITUDE: This bitch in my section actually MOANS when she’s called on. That hasn’t been acceptable since they started making us write in cursive in middle school. Moaning is not going to make the professor stop calling on you. Also don’t roll your eyes at me. I’m flicking you off when you’re not looking.
YOU ARE NOT JUICY: This has been said before, but I guess I have to repeat it – sweatpants are not acceptable law school attire. More and more girls are wearing those nasty sweatpants with Juicy written on the butt. Just because it is hot pink doesn’t mean that it’s cute. It’s still A PAIR OF SWEATPANTS. I was going to make a mom comment but the two 30-something year old mothers actually dress appropriately. Take note girls! If Megan can dress two preschoolers in the morning and look decent then your straight-from-college ass has no excuse.
And finally,
YOU ARE NOT A STRIPPER: Or maybe you are? Okay, I wear heels every day. That’s fine. Heels are sexy and professional, but honey, honey, honey. You can’t wear five inches and have the twins showing. Why are they showing anyway? They aren’t that perky. There’s a girl in our school who is straight up stripper every day. She actually wore THIGH HIGH SNOW BOOTS one day.
Thigh high! First off, that they even MAKE thigh high snow boots is… I don’t even know. It’s just wrong. But just because Fredricks of Hollywood makes it, does NOT mean it’s appropriate to wear outside of the strip club.
And with that, I’m back to memo-land.
